What The Ashley Madison Leak Tells Us About Marriage Today

37 million names were on the Ashley Madison list of subscribers that was leaked a few weeks ago.  If you’re not familiar with the website, Ashley Madison is a site dedicated to helping married folks have an affair.  A couple of weeks ago, the website was hacked and the list was made public.  The site’s promise of anonymity was vetoed all in one moment of time.

I had not heard of this website prior to this hitting the news…but I can’t say that I’m entirely surprised by its existence.  And, in my opinion, it points us towards a bigger issue and a bigger crisis than what appears on the surface of this.  It would be easy to dismiss this as simply a bunch of people (37 million to be exact) that are unhappy in their marriage and are looking for something else.

But it goes far beyond that!  In fact, there are some underlying issues that I think we all need to recognize.

If I can “get away with it,” I’ll do it.

The whole idea is that the people that are a part of this site are assured of their anonymity and success of getting away with it.  This idea extends far beyond this one issue, but it’s certainly is central here.  We are motivated by the thought of “how much can I get away with” and still…be Christian, be married, be employed, etc.

Infidelity is a goal rather than a response.

The fact that 37 million people are a part of this site tells me that the way we’ve viewed infidelity in the past is no longer how we should view it today.  It appears to me that it has moved from the realm of simply being a response of someone who is unhappy in their marriage to the idea that it’s a way to have fun, meet my needs now, or some other selfish goal.

The vows of marriage do not include what I do in my private life.

We vow to be faithful until death…and we act like it in public.  But, when it comes to our “private” lives, those things no longer apply.  It’s almost as though we’re saying that I’ll say anything publicly as long as it gets me where I want to go and then I’ll act however I want when I’m alone.  It’s an integrity issue…but I’ve heard it before: “Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?  I’m not hurting anyone.”

Fighting for the one you love has been replaced by instant gratification.

I believe that there are far too many people that place the wrong value on their marriage.  It’s almost as though marriage is a throw away venture.  If it doesn’t work out, oh well.  No harm, no foul.  And because of this mindset, we see that husbands and wives are far more interested in pursuing instant gratification than they are at fighting for the one that they love.

My needs are more important than anything else.

And, of course, at the foundation of all of this drama is the philosophy of “me.”  Selfishness is running rampant today and no one wants to speak out against it.  It’s all over the place and it’s plaguing not only marriages but also the workplace, the classroom, and the public platform.  It’s no wonder that marriages are struggling today.  We haven’t done a good job of helping the next generation understand how to put aside themselves and focus on becoming one in marriage.  We haven’t helped the next generation know that a marriage that’s focused on oneness is far happier and better than focusing on our own individual needs and wants.

Well, that’s it.  What do you think about this and the whole Ashley Madison leak?  Comment below and let us know!

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