Date nights are a must…but can get really low on the priority list when kids are young, money is tight and parents are exhausted! My husband and I value time alone. But many times we go way too long without spending some quality time together outside of our home ALONE!
Recently we had a pretty dry spell on date nights so we did a last minute date with no agenda…just left everything behind except the two of us. You could tell that we both desperately needed it because we were in deep conversation before we even got sat at the restaurant. So when you’re in a dry spell and feel like a date night is “mission impossible” here are some reasons to make it happen!
I desperately need to know what is going on in my husband’s head. If I don’t, I start to make up stories and usually they aren’t good. If Tim has been really quiet, I start to assume that he is mad at me, discontent with our marriage or having some kind of midlife crisis. But when I talk to him I usually find out that he’s working on something really big at work, he is worried about how he is doing as a dad or he is just plain tired and overwhelmed. This makes it much easier for me to help him through this season and encourage him through a rough time. The conversations where these kinds of things come out have to happen in private – not when our kids are repeatedly coming out of their bedrooms at night requesting water, snacks, hugs, kisses, etc. By the time we get them to bed we’re too tired to truly communicate.
I am not ashamed to admit…well maybe a little ashamed but I rock a “mommy uniform” most days. Hat, ponytail, comfy jeans, sweater and boots…sometimes the same uniform is worn without washing or may have been pajama’s from the night before. Don’t judge…I am pregnant with a limited wardrobe and laundry sometimes isn’t the priority. But when I know I am going on a date I really try to take off my mommy hat and put on my hottest wife outfit….okay maybe I wouldn’t describe maternity clothes as “hot” but you get the point. I feel like a wife and not a mommy monster when I go on a date with my husband. I sometimes even pretend that we don’t have any kids and when we get home we’ll cuddle in bed, no one will wake me up in the middle of the night and I will sleep in the next day…a girl can dream! All kidding aside the point is that I feel like a woman and wife when I go on a date with my husband and that feels good.
A few hours of time alone with my husband can seem like a week of vacation after dealing with the kids, housework, homework, discipline and the drama of mom life. Having a dinner without ordering kids meals, mopping up spilled milk and taking little ones to potty can feel like having a 7-course meal at a 5-star restaurant – when in reality we ate chips and salsa at Chili’s! I need this time to re-energize and I would guess every mom longs for this down time. I am a better, stronger, kinder, loving mom when I have a few hours to re-energize. My kids will attest to this too. The morning after a date night – they get pancakes and bacon instead of stale donuts and me putting the covers over my head begging for 10 more minutes of sleep!
Date nights can be challenging – I get it! We live hours away from family, live on a limited budget, are very busy and exhausted but it is a must for a healthy marriage. So when you think it is a luxury or extra remember that this is your marriage you are talking about; the core of your family and it needs to be nurtured. You deserve a date night, your husband deserves a date night and your children need to see the fruits of parents taking time to love each other and spend quality time together.
When was the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? Plan one and then post the date below in the comments and let us know what you’re going to do on your date!