If you’ve followed our story at all, you know that a number of years ago my wife and I were at the point of divorce. Our marriage was neglected. We were simply going through the motions. We had put our marriage on cruise control and were fully experiencing the effects of our lack of effort.
We went through counseling, attending conferences, and found mentors to help us get through that time in our life. We were searching for answers. Answers to questions like “How do we save our marriage?”, “How do we reconcile our relationship?”, and “What does a successful marriage look like?”. And there’s a lot of help and suggestions out there. Some of it good…some of it, not so much.
But, we did stumble upon one thing that completely revolutionized our marriage. It’s something that the experts know well and something that we had never even thought about. It’s the key that unlocked a new marriage and a new level of intimacy for my wife and me.
What is it?
We began praying together. Every day. It often happened in the morning before I left for work or at night before we went to sleep. Sometimes, it happened both of those times. But, we committed to consistently praying for and with each other. The benefits include a saved and reconciled marriage. But, here are a few reasons why it’s a marriage-saving habit that you should begin practicing today:
- Hearing your spouse pray for you is priceless. Every time I hear Consuela pray for me, I am encouraged. The fact that my wife would take the time to approach the God of the universe on my behalf is an honor. She has needs. Our kids have needs. Her family and friends have needs. But, she takes time to pray for ME. It is so powerful to hear her talk to God about me and our marriage and it brings me peace and comfort.
- Prayer changes things. Let’s face it, when we pray, God acts. When two are agreeing in prayer, the power of that prayer is exponentially increased. How often do we try to fix the problems in our lives, jobs, marriages, etc.? We feel like we have to have all the answers and always know exactly what to do. But, when husband and wife take their marital issues, financial issues, parenting issues, emotional issues, etc. to God, He can lead us to an outcome that we often couldn’t have fabricated on our own.
- The words of prayer confirm that you listen. Each time my wife and I pray, it gives me an opportunity to prove to her that I’m listening. When I pray about something that’s stressing her out, she immediately sees that I heard her when she shared that need with me. I can lift up in prayer all of the things that she has shared with me – hopes, dreams, disappointments, fears, worries, etc. And, not only did I listen, but I also care enough to take it to God and let Him do what He does.
- Prayer brings unity. It’s difficult to pray about something with your spouse and then lack unity about the outcome. Prayer brings the two of you closely together and helps you experience intimacy and unity. When you pray together, you come to a mutual understanding that God is in control of your situation and the two of you can be confident that you’ve taken a step together that will lead to the best outcome. Praying together brings unity because the two of you are on the same page and are submitting to a Power that is greater and higher than your own.
- Prayer places God at the center. The most important benefit of praying together is that it involves God in your marriage and places Him at the center of your marriage. When we do that, we are building a foundation to our marriage that is unshakeable. God at the center re-orders your priorities. God at the center removes distractions. God at the center shifts your marriage from selfishness to selflessness.
Do you pray with your spouse every day? If not, will you start building this habit today? If you do pray regularly, what impact have you seen? Comment below and let us know…