Essentials for Having a Great Adult Relationship with Your Parents

Today I am feeling kinda mushy and emotional about my parents.  Even at almost uhhh…40 years old they are still there for me.  I feel so blessed to have them and to have a great relationship with them.  It wasn’t always this way.  We had our fair share of disagreements, arguments, and straight up fights when I was younger.  But now, they are my friends and I am so thankful.  As I think about this, I want to have the same relationship with my kids when they are older. 

So, from an adult child’s perspective, these are the things I appreciate about my parents:

They practice grace:  We are not perfect and we drive each other crazy sometimes but we always forgive.  There are some relationships that are too precious to not forgive.

They don’t get offended:  When I had my first son I knew EVERYTHING!  I wanted everything my way or the highway.  My mom flat out told me she was not going to be offended and NOTHING would keep her from her grandkids.  This has seriously been a relationship saver!  I know way too many parents and children who are estranged over a sip of pop, a piece of candy before dinner, or a parent telling a grandparent “no.”  It is not worth it!

They stay in touch: Yes, I am an adult, but I still talk to one of my parents everyday.  When we don’t hear from each other, it goes a little something like this:

Me: “Oh, I guess you didn’t think about ME all day today!”

Parents: “I guess you didn’t think about US all day! I see how you are!”

Me:  “Whatever.  What did you do today?”

And that’s the end.  Sarcasm is a love language in our family.

If you don’t talk to your children and stay in touch you cannot cultivate a relationship.   I am never too old for my parents to check in on me.

They advise me and trust me:  My parents give great advice! They have been there and done that, but they also recognize that things change and they respect the decisions my husband and I make.  They even seek our advice on things.

They respect my marriage:  They treat my husband like one of their own.  They honor and respect him and his role as my husband and our children’s father.  Period.  This is not negotiable.

They have our back:  To this day, I still know that they have my back.  When times get tough they are there for us.  They don’t bail us out or support us financially, but they are there when we need them. 

They love our children:  My kids have the best Nina and Papa in the world!  They love our children, play with them, and take a general interest in their lives. 

They pray for us:  Whenever something is going on in my life, I know my parents are praying!  When I was trying to get pregnant with our first child.  My mom prayed and fasted for us.  Looking back I didn’t appreciate it like I should have…but WOW! 

I know not everyone has this relationship with their parents.  There are hurts, disagreements and stuff that comes between families.  But today I am challenging you to take one step.  Make a phone call.  If that’s too hard, send a text or an email.  Set up a time to see your child or invite your child to coffee or dinner.  I’m going to let you in on a secret…adults still need their parents love.  And to be honest this relationship is just too precious to let anything come between us.

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